Sex and Successful Communication

Say that Blog Post Title five times fast! We're not going to discuss what you think. Someone recently asked me if gender makes a difference in communication - duh! Yes!

Let's examine a few communication strategies that work whether you're a woman or man.

1. DO take up your space, but DON'T be a bully. It doesn't matter how much you weigh, consider others when taking a seat, standing in line or working out at the gym. Men tend to spread out more than women. Women tend to scrunch themselves into the smallest size possible. Neither works well in mixed gender situations. Be yourself, but don't inconvenience others.
2. DO listen to learn, but DON'T talk without thinking. Everyone can benefit from raising their awareness about their environment, and I don't mean the "green" movement. Look around, see how others behave, so you fit into the surroundings. Notice how men and women listen or talk, then try the behaviors that work.
3. DO prepare, and DON'T wing it. Some people say they work better under pressure. That's probably true, for some people, to an extent. However, those people probably aren't really aware of the audience's reaction. If you're unorganized, it will show, guaranteed. Also, a man can get away with more mistakes than a woman in most workplace settings. Sorry ladies, this is changing gradually, but for now you must prepare even more.
4. DO move up by merit, and DON'T manipulate. You may think nobody notices, but people spot a player and a fraud very quickly. Do the work, show real results and be honest. It takes less energy and people will want to work with and for you in the long run, whether you're a man or woman.
5. DO act as smart as you are, and DON'T play dumb to get ahead or fit in. This goes along with number four. Becker and Martin published groundbreaking behavioral research in 1995 proving that people purposely play dumb at work to get ahead, gain power or avoid unpleasant tasks- women especially, oops. It's true. Many women want to avoid threatening their male colleagues, so they play dumb. Don't be tempted. If you must change who you are to fit in, you probably don't really fit. Get a job where you can be yourself, or the stress of acting might hinder you anyway.
6. DO look in a mirror, and DON'T be scared. Make faces, move your lips, eyebrows, cheeks, throat and anything else you'd like to see in action. Familiarize yourself with how you look when you frown, smile, roll your eyes, etc... then remember how your face looks when you're interacting with others. Like it or not, models, actors, athletes and more do this constantly to help them visualize the best stance or expression for their job. The workplace is just the same.
   

As Shakespeare said - "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players."

This quote comes from the play, As You Like It, which is fitting for this blog's conclusion. For us to make the world as we like it, all we need is a little self-awareness to communicate effectively and achieve our goals.

If you think of more DO and DON'T combinations, please comment with your contribution.