Tone up or get tuned out...
Tone is one of the most sophisticated and challenging aspects of writing. Since we only have words to work with the non-verbal communication is missing. Obviously we need to write more carefully than ever - right?
When we're in a hurry, we tend to blurt out the first thing we think and feel - oops! The reader then receives a pummeling emotional message that blares at them or a insidious manipulative one - in case we're not up to direct confrontation. Either way, the result is negative, trust erodes and relationships suffer. Let's look at some strategies that can help us control our tone when writing.
Carefully consider before using words like: must, have to, shall, you will. Even setting up an "if-then" in your sentence can back readers into a corner. Controlling invites defiance. Even if it's passive aggressive, people will rebel to your face if you're lucky or behind your back if you're not. "Have to" invites responses like "make me" or "I'm doing it anyway."
Stay away from "Should-ing"
A friend of mine actually calls this situation "being should on." Using the words "should, could and if you would" instantly judges. It's like saying my way is better and you can't do anything about it. Again, controlling the reader usually invites their defiance. If the situation has already passed, the reader can be resentful or defensive, neither of which promotes a positive working relationship.
Use personal pronouns delicately
When we write something, we can't clarify the meaning as easily. Using personal pronouns can possibly set up an adversarial, blaming or divisive tone. Writing "you" is much stronger than saying "you."
Accentuate the positive...
Focus on solutions
Most readers will already know about the problems. The key is to try and move rapidly toward solutions instead of staying stuck. Some people even say that if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
Ask questions
Promote a collaborative interaction by asking questions. Choose open -ended questions and steer clear of interrogating the reader, though.
Say "we" and mean it
No offense intended, I have another friend who glibly talks about the "Thai guy, Somebody We" who shows up every time something needs to get done. If you say "we need to do something," commit to helping and follow up. Saying "somebody should complete these reports" doesn't actually complete the reports. Be part of the solution again.
Using an unproductive writing tone is easy. Carefully crafting our writing is more challenging, but can yield big payoffs! Take time to tame your tone - or get tuned out by your audience. The choice is yours.
When we're in a hurry, we tend to blurt out the first thing we think and feel - oops! The reader then receives a pummeling emotional message that blares at them or a insidious manipulative one - in case we're not up to direct confrontation. Either way, the result is negative, trust erodes and relationships suffer. Let's look at some strategies that can help us control our tone when writing.
Avoiding the forceful and controlling tone...
Carefully consider before using words like: must, have to, shall, you will. Even setting up an "if-then" in your sentence can back readers into a corner. Controlling invites defiance. Even if it's passive aggressive, people will rebel to your face if you're lucky or behind your back if you're not. "Have to" invites responses like "make me" or "I'm doing it anyway."
Stay away from "Should-ing"
A friend of mine actually calls this situation "being should on." Using the words "should, could and if you would" instantly judges. It's like saying my way is better and you can't do anything about it. Again, controlling the reader usually invites their defiance. If the situation has already passed, the reader can be resentful or defensive, neither of which promotes a positive working relationship.
Use personal pronouns delicately
When we write something, we can't clarify the meaning as easily. Using personal pronouns can possibly set up an adversarial, blaming or divisive tone. Writing "you" is much stronger than saying "you."
Accentuate the positive...
Focus on solutions
Most readers will already know about the problems. The key is to try and move rapidly toward solutions instead of staying stuck. Some people even say that if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
Ask questions
Promote a collaborative interaction by asking questions. Choose open -ended questions and steer clear of interrogating the reader, though.
Say "we" and mean it
No offense intended, I have another friend who glibly talks about the "Thai guy, Somebody We" who shows up every time something needs to get done. If you say "we need to do something," commit to helping and follow up. Saying "somebody should complete these reports" doesn't actually complete the reports. Be part of the solution again.
Using an unproductive writing tone is easy. Carefully crafting our writing is more challenging, but can yield big payoffs! Take time to tame your tone - or get tuned out by your audience. The choice is yours.
Labels: effective communication, positive tone, workplace interactions, writing
posted by Alise Isbell at
2:05 PM
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