Point Positive

Business is about workflow. Communication is usually the vehicle driving workflow. Sometimes information and tasks flow sleek and fast, other times clunky and slow or even backwashed.

Advertisements contain directions like, “Don’t miss the sale.” We also see common phrases like, “Please don’t hesitate to call.” Or “Don’t forget today’s meeting.” The truth is, we are wired to rebel. The fight or flight instinct causes us to immediately resist, especially when we here a negative direction or limitation.

So, if we want people to do something, tell them what TO DO instead of what NOT to do. In whitewater rafting, guides call this “pointing positive.” If someone falls out of a raft, guides will always point where to go. This survival skill uses the fight or flight instinct to avoid confusion. The same concept applies to business communication.

When we tell people what to do, the message is clearer and actually less controlling than a negative direction.

The following examples demonstrate how to change negative direction to pointing positive.

• If expense reports are not completed properly, reimbursement will not be completed on time. (Negative, punitive and demeaning)
• If expense reports are completed properly, reimbursements will be issued on time. (Clear cause and effect, allowing the reader to choose)

• Don’t forget today’s meeting at 2pm. (Implies the reader will forget, de-motivating)
• Remember today’s meeting at 2pm. (Simply and clearly sets the direction)

Benefits of pointing positive:

• Fewer words
• Positive reinforcement
• Clearer communication
• Unhindered workflow

Situations where pointing positive works:

• Ground rules for meetings and trainings
• Task directions
• Job-aids
• New employee orientation

Visible Values

How does your organization interpret its core values? Most people interpret core values very differently. Sometimes even conflict surfaces, because we assume our interpretation is correct. Core value statements are typically filled with abstract concepts like leadership, respect, integrity or service. Write Wise Communications empowers clients to transform ideas, like core values, into clear messages.

What do these concepts really look like in the workplace? This edition focuses on communicating core values concretely to drive achievement.

When discussing a core value like respect, some think it means fear. “People respect me because I’m the boss, and they obey me.” This interpretation makes sense, probably because we are bombarded with violent, abusive movies and other media in our society.

Others think respect means to value other people’s opinions, even if they differ. Who’s right? Respect usually means:

• Make eye contact
• Speak softly
• Be polite
• Listen and avoid interrupting
• Try
• Include or involve people (as opposed to excluding them)
• Respond to people
• Use appropriate language
• Avoid talking down to people

What does service mean?

• Calling people back within 24 hours
• Keeping promises and commitments
• Communicating when things go wrong
• Allowing flexibility if people have/need unique circumstances
• Apologize for mistakes
• Move toward solutions instead of getting stuck on the problem
• Telling people what you CAN do, instead of what you CAN’T do
• Picking up the slack when work gets overwhelming

Let’s examine integrity. Some people think integrity means full disclosure. For example, if something breaks, we must tell the customer all the details surrounding the incident. Others disagree, saying we lose integrity by revealing too much. Again, who’s right?

Success depends on getting most employees to agree on what core values look like in the organization. When people interpret core values similarly, we get predictable, consistent results. That’s really what internal and external customers want!

If your organization needs help defining, communicating or acting on core values in a unified way, call us today.

Retool? Reconnect? It's ALWAYS the season!!!

Write Wise Communications, LLC helps people communicate effectively and achieve their goals

In this fast-paced business environment and volatile economic forecast, we need to stay sharp and flexible.

Are you outdated? Are you resisting change? Many people hunker down and play it safe during uncertain times, but this is the time for action.

Evaluate your connections using the following questions:
1. Who’s in your network?
2. Can you justify your value in 30 seconds or less?
3. Does your network know what you do?
4. Do YOU know what you do, and can you explain it?
5. How do you communicate with your network?
· Face to face?
· Social media?
· Telephone?
· Email?
· Combo?
5. Did someone ask for your advice or input yesterday?
6. Have you updated your resume in the last month?
7. Have you attended any professional development or training in the last three months?
If you answered “no” to any of these, why? Each of these questions indicates an opportunity to connect with others and strengthen relationships. Relationships help support people during tough times.

The holiday season is a great time to reconnect or plan new learning opportunities for 2010.

Networking Nicely

With the current economy, we've probably seen a spike or at least felt the urge to network more. Networking can be fun. These are some tips offered on my website www.writewisecommunications.com. Thought they'd be interesting in a blog too! Hope they're helpful. We've sure seen what happens when people don't follow some key networking success strategies.

Many of us get nervous when we first meet other people. Our pulse speeds up, adrenaline flows and our mouth runs while the brain shuts off! Sound familiar?

• Silence is golden. Sometimes it's better to receive than give when it comes to meeting people and developing relationships. Try to remember names and other information when you first begin a conversation. Learning more about the other person gives your brain a chance to reengage and helps promote a rapport.
• Avoid political or religious topics. Even if you're just making small talk about current events, it's possible to offend someone or make them uncomfortable by discussing sensitive issues. People generally feel strongly about politics or religion, so they can sometimes respond emotionally, when the goal of a productive conversation should be to help everyone feel at ease.
• It's not worth fussing about. Those who are always right tend to be lonely. Stay out of arguments when others contradict you, especially if the other person feels strongly that they're right. Let someone else correct their information, unless your own reputation is at stake. Then, gently guide the conversation to a avoid clashes.
• Is it too personal? How many times have you been in a conversation when someone begins discussing their personal life, health or future with the group? Yikes! The reaction is usually stops the interaction immediately while people try to figure out how to respond. Good conversationalists can restart the conversation by switching subjects. For example, they a person might say, "Would anyone care for another beverage? Has anyone seen the great hors d'oeuvres?" or "I'd like to introduce someone to the group. Have you met so and so?“
• Avoid the negative. People generally do not want to hear about your recent traumatic layoff, crazy boss, divorce or other negative experiences, unless they already know you and need an update. Even then, state the facts and quickly move onto future goals or activities. This helps people understand where you're headed, not where you've been. They can often help you with your recovery or connect you to resources!
• Eat sparingly. Even though snacks are served, that doesn't mean strap on the feed bag. Eating too much, burping, food in teeth, bad breath and spitting are all potential pitfalls.
• Drink water and not the sparkly kind. Just because you get 2 free drinks, doesn't mean you must oblige. Making a good first impression requires concentration, which can be markedly decreased by alcohol. Also, any carbonated beverage will likely cause you to burp. The best way to make a bad first impression is belch in someone's face. Ew!
• Honor personal space. Arms length is ideal in America.
• Allow others into the circle. The group should move like an amoeba. If you stay stuck on someone, like the hiring manager you've been trying too meet, you can look like an aggressive jerk. Also, getting boxed in reduces your face time with everyone. Get some self awaress. The best way to get unboxed is introduce the crowding offender to someone else. Just say, "There's someone I'd like you to meet." Who's going to argue with that?
• Look behind you before moving, especially in crowded areas. Knocking over someone or their food/drink is a sure fire way to make a lasting negative impression. That's what they'll remember. Plus, ruining clothes, carpet or furniture is worth the price you pay for being careful.
• Have your business cards accessible, but don't hand them to everyone you see. Wait for someone to ask you first or ask them for a card.
• Offer to help the host/ess. Then, thank them for the invitation or opportunity to attend.
• Follow up regularly with new acquaintances.
  

Sex and Successful Communication

Say that Blog Post Title five times fast! We're not going to discuss what you think. Someone recently asked me if gender makes a difference in communication - duh! Yes!

Let's examine a few communication strategies that work whether you're a woman or man.

1. DO take up your space, but DON'T be a bully. It doesn't matter how much you weigh, consider others when taking a seat, standing in line or working out at the gym. Men tend to spread out more than women. Women tend to scrunch themselves into the smallest size possible. Neither works well in mixed gender situations. Be yourself, but don't inconvenience others.
2. DO listen to learn, but DON'T talk without thinking. Everyone can benefit from raising their awareness about their environment, and I don't mean the "green" movement. Look around, see how others behave, so you fit into the surroundings. Notice how men and women listen or talk, then try the behaviors that work.
3. DO prepare, and DON'T wing it. Some people say they work better under pressure. That's probably true, for some people, to an extent. However, those people probably aren't really aware of the audience's reaction. If you're unorganized, it will show, guaranteed. Also, a man can get away with more mistakes than a woman in most workplace settings. Sorry ladies, this is changing gradually, but for now you must prepare even more.
4. DO move up by merit, and DON'T manipulate. You may think nobody notices, but people spot a player and a fraud very quickly. Do the work, show real results and be honest. It takes less energy and people will want to work with and for you in the long run, whether you're a man or woman.
5. DO act as smart as you are, and DON'T play dumb to get ahead or fit in. This goes along with number four. Becker and Martin published groundbreaking behavioral research in 1995 proving that people purposely play dumb at work to get ahead, gain power or avoid unpleasant tasks- women especially, oops. It's true. Many women want to avoid threatening their male colleagues, so they play dumb. Don't be tempted. If you must change who you are to fit in, you probably don't really fit. Get a job where you can be yourself, or the stress of acting might hinder you anyway.
6. DO look in a mirror, and DON'T be scared. Make faces, move your lips, eyebrows, cheeks, throat and anything else you'd like to see in action. Familiarize yourself with how you look when you frown, smile, roll your eyes, etc... then remember how your face looks when you're interacting with others. Like it or not, models, actors, athletes and more do this constantly to help them visualize the best stance or expression for their job. The workplace is just the same.
   

As Shakespeare said - "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players."

This quote comes from the play, As You Like It, which is fitting for this blog's conclusion. For us to make the world as we like it, all we need is a little self-awareness to communicate effectively and achieve our goals.

If you think of more DO and DON'T combinations, please comment with your contribution.

Just say YES!

I usually write about trips after returning. These are a few thoughts from this experience. This trip definitely changed my thinking.

Expect the unexpected, things happen for a reason, stop and smell the roses – whatever cliché you want to pick couldn’t have prepared me for this vacation experience in Moab, Utah.

Never been here before, but my 4-day rafting trip got canceled at the last minute. Guess I’m a repressed adrenaline junky, because rafting is such a satisfying experience. I’ve run lots of rivers, but this was May in Utah. Snowmelt makes the rivers crest and creates huge, dangerous and thrilling rides down rapids you can’t imagine, I heard.

So, rafting trip canceled – I called around to try and book another one somewhere else. As fate would have it, Adrift Adventures had a two-day ready and waiting – available. Whoo hoo! I was set! Couldn’t wait! My husband and 11 other people – mostly guys – also converged on Moab to slay as many mountain bike trails in one week as humanly possible. Mountain biking – not my thing – too much concentration - I’d rather zone out and think, dream, wonder and enjoy the scenery, instead of figuring out how to live through it.

Hmmm, how ironic! I showed up bright and early at the rafting place on Friday and filled out the paperwork. The owner, Mike, assured me I was traveling with his most experienced guides, but all I thought was, “I’m going rafting – yay!” Then, a quick ride over to the gas station to meet the group – easy enough. I was eager to meet the other people on the trip, learn about their lives, bond and enjoy the trip. I got out of the van with my dry bag and came face to face with Eric. He was the put-in driver. No biggie, right? He introduced me to Kellan and Nelson, the two raft guides – brothers, I discovered later.

“Hi, hello, good to meet you,” whatever – done with the pleasantries, now where was the group? Eric then explained that I was the only rider. Uhhh, ok, ok, oh---kay. “I can do this,” I kept telling myself, “Have fun, go! It can’t be that bad, just do it! You paid your money, so take your chances.” So, I just got in the truck with my stuff and went.

The put-in was close, so it wasn’t long before we were motoring down the river. Overwhelming postcard scenery engorged every glance, huge cliffs, sandstone formations, ancient granaries and beautiful desert vegetation. Kellan and Nelson called the first day, dead heading. That meant the rest of the group would join us by jet boat the next morning to run the really big rapids.

Basically, we puttered the 50+ miles then camped. I decided to try anything they suggested. (Don’t let your imagination get carried away, I know who I am, so no funny business.) The first activity was a hike to a waterfall – absolutely stunning, tucked away in a canyon only they knew how to reach. “Do you want to go?” they asked. “Yes!” The next was a hike over an oxbow section of the river. “Do you want to go?” Kellan asked. “Yes!”

They wouldn’t let me do anything. I have tons of camping experience, but it was worthless to them. Their jobs as guides took over and they rolled out the red carpet just for me. First, they put up a tarp in three seconds, then cooked ribs, tortellini and salad for dinner. Nelson later baked a perfect cake in the Dutch oven and frosted it with chocolate icing – sheesh! I was impressed.

The next morning was unnerving. Kellan and Nelson rigged up the boat and readied the equipment, while I stood around like an idiot. “Can I help??” I pleaded. “No, we’ve got it!” they responded calmly. They had a system, and if I “helped” it would just take longer, probably.

Around 10:30am, the jet boat arrived with 12 riders and 4 guides. Kellan and Nelson called them swampers. We slithered into wetsuits and life jackets then listened to the safety talk.

I worried about the sibling rivalry as they selected riders for their boats. Whose boat would I choose, not wanting to play favorites with the semi-rival brothers? It was easy – I didn’t get a choice. Nelson pointed to all the riders he wanted, and I was in the group. I really wanted the front center seat, but a lady from New Zealand wanted it too, so I relented. I sat in the back left at first until another rider complained about being uncomfortable, so we traded. After that, I was middle center, just behind the New Zealand lady who promptly lost her shoes in the first rapid.

The rapids were not too bad at first, but bigger than any I’d ever seen. Roiling, rolling, boiling 10-20 foot swells came from all directions. Thank God we were in a motor boat. Our first man overboard was one of the swampers – a big guy who managed to hold onto the raft, the New Zealand lady and I pulled him back in. Whew! Every time he went through a rapid, he spat – gross. I warned him, “Dude, if you spit on me, it’s on!” He just laughed and kept riding.

We stopped briefly before a big set of rapids, and the New Zealand lady asked if I wanted to trade places, making me front center. “Yes!” I said, which seemed to get easier and easier as the trip continued. The spitting swamper asked if I would like to swim later after the rapids. “Yes!” I said.

The next set of rapids was epic – huge 30-ft swells hitting us from all directions. I kept thinking, “If I let go, I’m dead.” The boat kicked around like a bucking bull then rode up the swell, like the movie, “Perfect Storm.” The rush of water jerked my right hand loose from its grip several times, and I slid back against the New Zealand lady. She pushed me forward again and I regained my grip, coughing and gasping for breath each time.

After lunch, Nelson and Kellan changed into pirate costumes and emerged from the brush with swashbuckling antics. The crowd was amused and the show eased tensions as we prepared for a few more rapids, then smooth water until the Lake Powell take-out. It immediately started hailing, raining and blowing. Everyone was freezing, so Kellan began handing out his reserve clothes and covering people with tarps.

The last part of the trip was fascinating with the rain creating hundreds of rushing waterfalls over the cliff faces. It was awe-inspiring. We kept playing leapfrog with a lone blue heron that stayed just a few boat lengths ahead of us for miles.

We made it to Lake Powell and disembarked. This trip taught me a big lesson. Lately, I’ve been saying, “No” to things that might have been fun or adventurous. I have tons of friends and a loving husband to support me just like Nelson and Kellan, two strangers, supported me through a two-day trip. Why should I say, “No?”

Life can close in on people when they start saying, “No” too much. All the “Yeses” from those two days made me wonder what I was missing. Saying “yes” was fun, not dangerous. Trusting strangers should be just as easy as trusting loved-ones. Hello – wake up call! The catharsis showed me to take more risks – not stupid ones – just those that would expand my experience and teach something.

Albert Einstein said, “There is one thing we do know – that we are here for the sake of each other.”

After this experience, I resolved to say “yes” more and stay open to new horizons, especially if they stretched my abilities.

Tone up or get tuned out...

Tone is one of the most sophisticated and challenging aspects of writing. Since we only have words to work with the non-verbal communication is missing. Obviously we need to write more carefully than ever - right?

When we're in a hurry, we tend to blurt out the first thing we think and feel - oops! The reader then receives a pummeling emotional message that blares at them or a insidious manipulative one - in case we're not up to direct confrontation. Either way, the result is negative, trust erodes and relationships suffer. Let's look at some strategies that can help us control our tone when writing.

Avoiding the forceful and controlling tone...

Remove ultimatum words

Carefully consider before using words like: must, have to, shall, you will. Even setting up an "if-then" in your sentence can back readers into a corner. Controlling invites defiance. Even if it's passive aggressive, people will rebel to your face if you're lucky or behind your back if you're not. "Have to" invites responses like "make me" or "I'm doing it anyway."

Stay away from "Should-ing"

A friend of mine actually calls this situation "being should on." Using the words "should, could and if you would" instantly judges. It's like saying my way is better and you can't do anything about it. Again, controlling the reader usually invites their defiance. If the situation has already passed, the reader can be resentful or defensive, neither of which promotes a positive working relationship.

Use personal pronouns delicately

When we write something, we can't clarify the meaning as easily. Using personal pronouns can possibly set up an adversarial, blaming or divisive tone. Writing "you" is much stronger than saying "you."

Accentuate the positive...
Focus on solutions

Most readers will already know about the problems. The key is to try and move rapidly toward solutions instead of staying stuck. Some people even say that if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Ask questions

Promote a collaborative interaction by asking questions. Choose open -ended questions and steer clear of interrogating the reader, though.

Say "we" and mean it

No offense intended, I have another friend who glibly talks about the "Thai guy, Somebody We" who shows up every time something needs to get done. If you say "we need to do something," commit to helping and follow up. Saying "somebody should complete these reports" doesn't actually complete the reports. Be part of the solution again.

Using an unproductive writing tone is easy. Carefully crafting our writing is more challenging, but can yield big payoffs! Take time to tame your tone - or get tuned out by your audience. The choice is yours.